Re: Chapter Two

The secret to belonging and what turns a group into a community

Hey you!

I’m still in a hermit mode cooking what’s next. I have changed, Secret Club is changing, and I bet you’re changing too.

This edition is a wrap up and a preparation for what’s coming. Feel free to comment any questions. This is not a farewell, but I’m saying goodbye to some parts of myself.

Love You, Secret Club

I was journaling in the morning with a Secret Club pen, and it almost made me cry. What a journey it has been.

Secret Club was my boldest move when I was struggling with loneliness. Before our first meet-up—almost four years ago!—, I was desperate to make friends and had put myself into situations that defied all my social limits. Nothing worked, but thank Goddess you came to that first cafe meeting. Since 2022, it has been so much easier to make friends—not only for me, but for hundreds of women in Helsinki who joined us.

My only goal was to meet like-minded women, and Secret Club gave me so much more than that. From being recognized in the media and invited to talk at different events, to meeting great people and having over a hundred paid members who trusted me and wanted to become part of what I created. And I did this in my second language, in a country where I didn’t know the rules. My mom is proud.

Helsingin Sanomat 🗞️ Yle

The path is never straight, but it still takes you to the right place.

you have to trust

I was lucky enough to meet the most incredible people—you included, don’t get shy now. Besides that, somewhere between the workshops, coffee dates, tarot readings, and existential conversations, I fell back in love with writing.

Writing is one of the few things that gives me energy instead of taking it away. It heals where it hurts. Every essay leaves me feeling more like myself. The more I write, the more I want to improve my craft and create things I'm genuinely excited to share with you.

And I am not the only one. I have seen many of you becoming artists, healers, mothers, friends, more independent, happier, bolder, badass women I admire.

We’re not a garden; we’re a f*cking forest of fabulous women.

this is very important

The Secret to Belong

I had a good cry, and now it’s time to turn the page. But first, it’s my duty to share what I learned about community and belonging.

I have been to over a hundred meet-ups—I met dozens of women, we chit-chatted, added each other on Instagram, had long conversations. They came to the Secret Club to meet new people and make friends. Some found their ride-or-dies, others show up and never made friends or felt they belong. Why is that?

Community became a buzz word, and we started using it as a synonym for group or audience. Influencers started calling their followers their community. Companies are creating communities too. It’s not that simple, though. When people are gathered, it’s a group, but not every group is a community. Yes, I said it.

A community has three non-negotiable ingredients: a shared identity, an emotional bond, and collaboration.

Shared identity—When I say we’re like-minded women, it’s because you’re reading our newsletter and connecting the womanhood vs. anti-patriarchal ideas I share. That’s our culture, and it gives us a sense of cohesion. Our identity is always being co-created, evolving with each member that voice over. It gives us a sense of ownership—you’ll call it “my community”.

Emotional bond—That’s why your classmates or colleagues don’t necessarily feel like a group you want to belong to. In a community, people are not only open minded, but also have their hearts open to connect in an emotional level. For me, I love Secret Club.

Collaboration—This is the trickiest part. Community requires active engagement and co-creation from its members. If you’re always making plans, and your friends just have to show up, you’re convenient, like a service. To make a group of friends a community, you need mutual effort to seal the bond. This is valid for all kinds of relationships.

This is also how people find their ride-or-dies. Members who organized a meet-up, hosted a picnic, or started a gathering are the ones feeling the most connected. By contributing something of their own, they become part of the fabric of the community.

And that’s the realization that changed how I think about Secret Club.

i finally found the missing part I was looking for

I was looking for community and accidentally built a hobbies-and-events service. We had the most fun and creative events, though.

What I didn’t realize is that community isn’t something a single person can manufacture. I can set the table, send the invitations, and start the conversation. But community only emerges when everyone starts bringing something of their own.

This is the most precious thing we have within Secret Club 🫧

Community is a consequence of having our brains interested in the same things and curious about each other. After all, connection is about sharing energy, thoughts, time, emotions, secrets, and all things that matter to us. It’s a gift we give and take.

That’s why our community hub—the WhatsApp chat—isn’t going anywhere. It’s yours as much as it is mine, and I’d love for you to use it. Start a conversation. Invite people for coffee. Organize a picnic. Ask a weird question.

And if nobody replies right away, don’t panic. I’ve sent plenty of messages into the void over the years and somehow survived every single one of them.

Sending you so much love!

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okay darling, but where are we heading to?

Chapter Two

I hope you’re enjoying the vacation season and the good whether 💖

Meanwhile, I’m in my creative bubble redesigning Secret Club’s paid subscription. We have been evolving together and are ready for something bolder, feminist, magical and highly creative.

Just to give you an idea of what I’m planning:

❤️‍🔥 womenhood vs. patriarchy
🍦 living deliciously
✍️ journaling
🔮 tarot readings
🛋️ online lives
🫧 magical bubble dispatch
☎️ interviews
👁️ illustrations

I’m in a highly creative mode and social media almost hurts me, that’s why my Instagram is silent.

Next week, I’ll be in Stockholm for a System of a Down concert and my inner teenager is jumping up and down. Besides, I’ll take the chance to gather inspiration and delicious inspiring ideas for our brains.

Mini spoiler: I already have a new logo 🤩 editorial guidelines for what’s coming next and, omg!, can’t wait to share it all with you!

I made a Secret Club cap as a reminder that nobody is going to believe in me more than I do. I ran out of time to waste on self-doubt.