Dear Diary #11

Someone asked me what I meant by like-minded women and I had to pause for a moment

Jan 07, 2025

Reading takes 5 minutes. 🫒 I’m a bit obsessed with the olive emoji, it’s just so cute!

Dear Diary is a monthly newsletter sharing my journey of adapting to Finland, navigating relationships, and finding joy. I've got more questions than answers, but I believe in the magic of connecting through words. That’s why I keep writing. Secretly, I think that friendship and joy are a safe exit from the patriarchal trap. If this email strikes a chord, feel free to reply. It inspires me to keep spilling the tea away.

Someone asked me what I meant by "like-minded people” and I had to pause momentarily. Pause is not an action I usually get while my eyes jiggle on Instagram feed, stories, reels, comments, likes, and messages. That’s why I instantly realized two things: one, I probably take it for granted and believe everyone is like-minded because they like posts and comment “love it”. Two, do I make it clear what are our values, interests, and attitudes? What vibe do I want to spread?

Thank you dear Pearl who asked this question! You made me think and that’s just great.

I replied with our most obvious values: creativity, joy, and sisterhood which I dare to say all our members believe too. Nevertheless, this question opens an entire door of behind-the-scenes intentions I bring to our like-minded package. There’s much more to the love I put into making the community a cozy space for expression, joy, and connections.

So what exactly does “like-minded” mean here? :)

Our headline proudly declares that we are unapologetically fostering creativity, fun, and friendships. But what does that actually mean? Thinking about the question made me want to break it down and share what each of these means to me—and how they shape the community we’re building.

LET’S START WITH CREATIVITY 🫒

“Are you all creative women there?”, someone could ask.
The answer would be yes and no.

No need to be an artist, but certainly we believe that creativity has power. Even when we don’t know what this power is, we are open to experimenting. The secret behind this is a serious belief that tapping into our creativity is a fire to remind ourselves who we are, what we like, and who we wanna be — which might get forgotten in the stash of daily activities. I hate the word busy, but that’s life in our times.

"The creative force flows over the terrain of our psyches looking for the natural openings, the channels where it can flow freely. We are all filled with longing for the wild. There is in all of us a wild woman. She is the source of the feminine. She is the essence of creativity." Clarissa Pinkola Estés — Women Who Run with the Wolves

I f*cking love the metaphors in this book —

In the passage above, she underscores that creativity is a vital force, deeply tied to our true selves and the "wild woman" archetype—the instinctive, untamed, and deeply creative essence within every woman. I believe that keeping our “wild woman” alive is what makes us brave enough to say no, love ourselves despite the beauty industry, stay strong with our values, and not accept less than we deserve.

Yep. That’s where “getting creative” comes from.

NOW LET’S GET TO THE FUN 🫒

And what’s the thing with “having fun”?

If we think about movies that picture women in past years — it could be Little Women or Downton Abbey — we are usually depicted as attached to domestic life. Recently, I read a very interesting point of view on how our hobbies are domestic-friendly and can get interrupted by children, food, and whatever we have to deal with. It doesn’t diminish handcrafts of course, but I like to keep my eyes open. Meanwhile, men go fishing, hunting, playing games with a ball (I don’t love balls), and other things that can get you dirty and are not easy to do with children around. Back to movies, you can also see women playing the piano, singing, or painting — a mix of a hobby and a feature for the delight of people — and hopefully a good husband.

Fast forward from Downton Abbey to 2025—where do we find ourselves? Confused about whether or not to have children, working long hours, spending money on wellness just to catch a breath before the next therapy session—all while trying to figure out what our biggest dreams are. Not everyone feels trapped, however, I know many can relate. In this whirlwind, allowing ourselves to rest, have fun, and savor moments of joy feels nothing short of magical.

But fun isn’t just a break from life—it’s a way of reclaiming ourselves. Whether through creativity, laughter, or doing something for the pure joy of it, fun shows us that we’re more than the roles society has assigned to us. Hopefully, it’s just me, though — I still have a voice inside my head that sometimes conflicts, so doing it with other people helps me to ensure it’s not selfish, it’s not silly.

THAT LEAD US TO FRIENDSHIPS 🫒

Open-hearted to connections

I started the Secret Club because I wanted to make friends, and I know how sad it can feel not to know anyone who shares your vibe—especially when you’re missing the incredible friends you left behind. Over time, I’ve realized this is a shared feeling, which is why our seashell logo feels so fitting. Seashells are moved by the tides, and eventually, they gather together. We are here for a reason, and I trust serendipity to guide us.

If there’s a woman out there willing to connect, I’ll always open my heart and listen to what she has to say. I want to meet more open-hearted women to share experiences with, and I hope this space can be a cozy home for anyone searching for that connection.

And that, Dear Diary, is what “like-minded” means to me.