Dear Diary #15

Venus Is Calling — Letting Go of the Race I Never Wanted to Win

Dear Diary is a monthly love letter to the mess and magic of relationships — with others, and with myself. I don’t have answers, just lots of questions, but I believe in connecting through words. That’s why I keep writing.

🥤Grab a coffee, take a 4-minute break, and enjoy the read. 🪐

Dear Diary,

I keep telling myself not to perform—that Secret Club is a living manifesto meant to inspire women to live deliciously, blah, blah, blah—and I’ve talked about this in many therapy sessions. But does that mean I’m great at it? Unfortunately not. If I were, I’d probably be so natural I wouldn’t even think about it. I’d just live.

Is it possible to make joyful moments a habit, then? I believe, yeah. I know that’s easier said than done, because life is always bumping and spinning, and people out there (not us, of course) love to clap for struggle. In Finland, maybe someone would compliment me for taking half a sunny weekday off to swim. But in other places, it’s easy to imagine someone being praised for starving themselves to get thinner, or being called “Superwoman” for overdoing it until the edge of burnout. She’s so energetic, she does everything for everyone. But who does something for her?

Being too busy was always the main reason I skipped the delicious things. My ego is easily fooled by the illusion of usefulness. I’m needed, it thinks! But beyond that, there’s another trap: the false image of success that makes us chase without ever asking why.

Oh.

How do I know I’m not being too easy on myself and avoiding what’s actually needed? 🍸 My mom says I always take things too hard—so maybe when I’m feeling just a little lazy, it’s probably healthy?

How do I know I’m not being too hard on myself by convincing myself I need to be successful? 🫀 Are my definitions of success aligned with my soul, or am I being influenced by TikTok?

🪐

I have a story, Diary.