Dear Diary #4
A New Secret Club is rising. Am I freaking out?
Dear Diary is a monthly newsletter for oversharing. I write mainly about my adaptation to Finland, relationships, and joy. I've got more questions than answers, though I believe newsletters are bewitched to connect people. That’s why I keep writing. Secretly, I think that friendship and joy are a safe exit from the patriarchal trap. If this email strikes a chord, feel free to reply. It inspires me to keep spilling the tea away.
O-M-G Dear Diary!
I still remember mid-September 2022, when summer was saying goodbye. I had a delightful summertime trip to Spain with my partner. I sent my mom the pictures, and she was sure I was happy after a year of living abroad. While deep inside, I knew something was off. I love being with my husband; he’s my favorite company, and we have awesome conversations. However, seeing groups of women hanging together made me jealous and angry. It could get worse if they were smiling. I had to admit I felt lonely without friends. There was a void that my happy relationship would never fulfill.
I tried TikTok to find people but couldn’t get the vibe. It was too Gen Z back then. Now, I’ve been told millennials are all over TikTok. Anyways. I’m afraid to get addicted since I‘m already trying to recover from Instagram.
After a year in Helsinki, I joined as many meet-ups and workshops as possible and knew a few people. Yet, I missed connecting. I needed at least one person to invite for coffee on a random day to vent about random things and just enjoy each other's presence.
Suddenly, it started hurting to the point my mind considered giving up on Finland. What about my marriage? My husband is set here. We never talked about living in Brazil or anywhere else. My mind couldn't stop hyperventilating. Being with people is part of who I am. It recharges me. I need that. Yes, I also enjoy doing things on my own, such as writing this newsletter in a cafe, but it's completely different. I felt sadly lonely—not entirely, though in an uncomfortable way. Very uncomfortable.
Mid-September, 2022
Instead of secretly plotting revenge on giggling girl squads, I released a questionnaire like a message in a bottle into the Helsinki sea. When I got the replies, I realized I wasn’t the only one looking for friends. Fifty women responded to me. Yes, I said 50. Ten even said yes to a cafe invitation, and that’s how we started the Secret Club, which has saved me.
It enlightened me to look for joy in Finland. It has inspired me to write, explore the city, learn Finnish, pick mushrooms and berries, and wake up at 2 AM looking for the Northern Lights. Most importantly, I have friends now.
That humble beginning has blossomed into a community I'm proud to be part of. Helsinki is a better place because of all the joy and connections we have created. I couldn’t feel more grateful.
There's another secret, dear diary.
Writing and working for this community has been a bucket full of joy. I feel so excited I can’t do anything else. It keeps me busy the whole day, and I just love it. Though life is not always the piece of strawberry cake, it should be.
I know.
I know what you’re thinking, and you are right.
I never made any money from the community, and I believe it should remain mostly free.
It’s decided.
I already chose to become the person I wished existed three years ago when I arrived in Finland. I want to be the one who explains the honest truth about moving to a different country with no sugarcoating on top of the struggles and shares how to find joy after craving it in a sea of unfamiliar colors, shapes, and patterns.
I am not sure yet if it’s possible to make a living out of it.
Anyhow, I would regret it if I didn’t give it a try.
Let’s see where it will take me.
Thank you so much for making the Secret Club a reality!
Women’s friendship is revolutionary 💫