Dear Diary #8

Ever feel like you're stuck between who you were and who you're becoming?

Reading takes 4 minutes. It is worth finding the 🐋

Play Erase / Rewind by The Cardigans for the full vibe.

Welcome to Dear Diary, a monthly newsletter in which I share my journey of adapting to Finland, navigating relationships, and finding joy. I've got more questions than answers, but I believe in the magic of connecting through words. That’s why I keep writing. Secretly, I think that friendship and joy are a safe exit from the patriarchal trap. If this email strikes a chord, feel free to reply. It inspires me to keep spilling the tea away.

I became a spouse even before getting married. Being a person who followed a man to a new country made me so. And there is this Spouse Program which is a good thing, but probably affected how I see myself in this society. Or the way I think this society sees me. Besides moving to Finland, my debut as a spouse also came with a few career burnouts. We can blame the Finnish Winter, my 35th birthday, or professional decisions that weren’t nourishing my soul. Or we don’t blame anyone. It’s just me changing.

Fortunately I married a great guy who kisses me goodbye every day before heading to work and makes us coffee every morning. Another day, while he was making breakfast, pesky patriarchal voices in my head whispered, “Bad wife.”