đ„€Grab a coffee or tea, take a 3-minute break, and enjoy the read.
Do you also love deep conversations that feel like group therapy? Because I simply love hearing stories and perspectives of different individuals, cultural creatures full of bias, feelings (and weird feelings), prejudice, flaws, but still always trying to be better. Better humans, so the next generations donât have to walk down the same trauma sidewalks.
Maybe you love tarot, thrifting, and magic herbs, like I do. Maybe youâve even read Women Who Run with the Wolves â the book weâre now devouring together in the Reading Club. And if you give those things a significant amount of your energy, youâll know this: people who donât get why they matter will probably feel like the ugly duckling in our pond â or make us feel like the ugly duckling in theirs.
It took me years to learn when Iâm not in the right pond, and to recognise the ones who energise me instead of drain me. Now I know they are people I never have to explain myself to. Around them, Iâm never embarrassed to speak my mind â and, most importantly, I donât feel emotionally hungover the next day after sharing my feelings out loud.
If you feel like testing, say your wildest dreams out loud. If you get applause instead of a âwhy?â, they have passed the vibe check.
If they donât? Donât wait to be kicked out like the Ugly Duckling in Women Who Run with the Wolves. Be brave and leave the pond you donât fit in. Easier said than done, I know â but trying to be like them is the least bold thing you can do.
Thatâs why I now cringe when I hear âadaptation.â
I donât want to adapt anymore. I want to find or create my flock so I donât have to squeeze in, or serve up an âeditorâs versionâ of myself: more palatable, blander, generic. I donât want to edit myself.
Thatâs probably the best way to find my people â not that Iâve cracked it yet. I know plenty of people, some who see me, but Iâm still pond-hopping, chasing my flock.
COMING SOON
In our Reading Circle, we have so many good discussions that my next newsletter is entirely about a topic we raised there. It wasnât the Ugly Duckling this time â it was The Joyous Body: The Wild Flesh, a chapter that explores the natural, instinctual relationship between women and their bodies.
The idea that our body is our soulâs vessel â and thatâs why they come in all different shapes â is still deliciously dancing in my head. We laughed about how the patriarchy, via the media, praises female perfect-forever-young-tiny bodies, which is ironic, considering patriarchy and capitalism literally depend on mom-fertile-imperfect-bodies to keep their systems running.
On Thursday, 11:11. Stay tuned!
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Secret Club Tote Giveaway â Hereâs How to Snag Yours
Spread the gospel of Secret Club with your referral link. Every friend who signs up gets you closer to free months â and the legendary Secret Club tote. Weâre not selling it anymore, so this is your one and only shot to strut around town with it.
XOXO
đȘ TĂĄssia
thank you so much for sharing đ it feels INCREDIBLY GOOD not being the only ugly duckling on this sea!
Hereâs to one more person feeling like an ugly duckling! Luckily I found SC!