Dear Diary is a monthly newsletter where I share personal notes about my adaptation in Finland. I write for women adjusting to a new life in Finland and anyone looking for inspiration. Kindly let me know if this email resonated with you, and feel free to respond. It inspires me to keep going.
Dear Diary,
Brazil is a socially and politically problematic country, but full of joy. I remember many times highlighting the differences between joy and happiness because, for us Brazilians, it's easy to mix them up. We always have the sun shining, people are usually friendly, and we have great music and a lifestyle that values having fun. The feeling of enjoying life and ourselves is part of our culture. Advertising, TV shows, and other media consistently reinforce this lifestyle. That's why sometimes we can mix up the joy we get from moments with the happiness we have inside.
The difference between joy and happiness is crystal clear in Finland.
Before moving to Finland, I was sure my life would improve the moment I crossed the border at the airport. No matter how happy I was, Finland would top it — it’s the happiest country on earth, after all. Deep inside, I knew I was romanticizing, but no idea how wrong I was. I only realized things didn’t turn out as I expected after two years of struggling and trying to fix myself.
One day I saw a video that freed me up! This young woman was showing things like going for a walk and other nature activities. She blew my mind saying anyone can have a good life “even in a place like Finland.”
🤯🤯🤯
What did she mean by “even in a place like Finland”? Where is she from? She probably came from the best place in the world.
I was so surprised because, to me, it was impossible to have a bad life in Finland.
I think she is from the United States, but now I see it doesn’t matter. The key to creating a good life is recognizing what brings you joy here.1 And it helps if you consider being flexible with your perception because the resources are probably different from where you came from.
Finland is a beautiful land, but it is not enough to bring me joy. Even the clear air, pure water, and safety did not make me any happier just because I never recognized these as a source of joy, and I took it all for granted.
Joy is the feeling of jumping up and down for a moment.
Happiness lasts longer. It’s how you feel about your life.
BUT SO WHAT
First, I made a list to remind me what sparks joy. I highly recommend doing it. Here’s mine: sunlight, lavender, swimming pool, barefoot on grass, going to my friend’s house, meeting friends after work, wine and writing on Fridays, driving, reading on the balcony, candles, tarot reading, carbonara, hotdogs, popcorn, soft music, long walks, long conversations without touching the phone, stay offline, Hello Kitty, magic stuff, glitter, colors, clothes with texture, lampshade, lobsters, rabbits, witch stuff.
Then, I faced the truth to understand what could be melting my joy. And the truth is I miss my friends, even knowing they can visit me now and then, and of course, I can also go to Brazil. I also missed my career and feeling important in a big company. I know as an employee, no one is irreplaceable, but I missed that too.
At least I was never alone: I had my beloved husband and Zelda, my 11-year-old dog, who has always been with me. Having a happy family, good memories, and social media helped a lot but didn’t keep me from feeling sad.
The everyday source of enjoyment available for me here is quite different from the one I knew. My supplies got low.
Finland has another vibe.
Apparently, here, joy lingers in peace, coziness, and silence and wears pale colors. It’s more about well-being than celebrations. To see it, I needed a special inner lamp and magic glasses. I am grateful I can breathe clean air, drink pure water, and feel safe everywhere — these things are starting to spark something in my joy bar.
Our well-being state is there to make sure that citizens, all citizens, have equal opportunities for well-being—to pursue happiness, enjoy freedom, and achieve success. Partanen, Anu. The Nordic Theory of Everything (p. 235).
The spirit of freedom motivates us to pursue happiness and be whoever we want to be. This pursuit has made me more creative than I ever was before. The sense of quiet joy, which I couldn't previously grasp, inspired me to add more color to the world around me. Ultimately, the peaceful environment I found myself in allowed me to hear my inner voice and express myself freely.
In the beginning, it was harsh — I felt alone, misperceived, and left behind.
But now, I see.
The dark is an inverted canvas.
With love,
Tássia
More joy 🌸
Google Translate says that "iloinen" means "cheerful" and "onnellinen" means "blessed" in Finnish.
This video helped me put things into words. I’m in love with The Aesthetics of Joy as if I had found my purpose in life.
Flowers bring me instant joy. 💐
I think having a dog is a lifesaver. 🐶
I love tarot reading and decided to bring my creative perspective to it. 🔮
I am reading Joyful and things are instantaneously making sense in my head. I think it’s probably related to my life purpose. As soon as I understand what my brain is cooking, I come here to tell you.
This is my favorite song to inspire joy. My body wants automatically to dance like no one is watching.
Iris Apfel is pure joy!
I know there are other things important to have a good, but let’s pretend joy is enough.